I attended a conference which I have actually done 2 years ago. My capacity has changed, of course, since my last attendance. I was also attending with a completely different attitude and intention this time. I prepared, took half day off to pull up myself, attended the venue 30 minutes earlier, and studied as much as possible.
Yet I believe I may going to fail this time, again.
I just can’t figure out the organization, which one is responsible for which type of works, and what particular works one specific department focus on. I tried to read it but I just couldn’t remember it. And even if I could remember, I would not know specifically what type of works that section does! It’s completely out of my expectation to being asked with these kinds of stuff.
I didn’t feel sad for my failure last time. But this time it’s different. I did wanna to be selected. I did at least want to have a second chance. If I could have better prepared, if I could have performed better.
I also hope my last question didn’t make everything even worse.
I just hate to act like a stupid or an idiot knowing nothing what’s going on in the conference. I didn’t have this feeling 2 years ago even though I believe I performed even worse than saying nothing. But this time it’s completely different and I feel so sad about it.
Well it’s gone. All I can do is having my finger crossed and hope for miracles to happen…
